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|Sunday, July 10th, 2011|
|Fatherhood in t-minus 90 days
I don't lead an interesting life.. I wake up go to work and play video games. I have a feeling in October that's all going to change.
|Wednesday, July 21st, 2010|
blah blah cant fucking sleep.. blah blah blah 4 hrs fuckin whine whine..
|Tuesday, June 15th, 2010|
So I heard some Jesus statue caught on fire, has anyone heard anything else about that cuz i sure haven't.
Also until yesterday I had no idea who Lee Greenwood is. The whole god-fearing populace that apparently exist is frighting. They must be the same people who listen to Toby Keith, I had no idea those people existed either.
|Friday, May 21st, 2010|
Promotions are a double edged sword. Yeah I get more money and a chance to try and better myself. But I loose my nights and weekends off. Thursday off is not near as enjoyable as a Saturday let me tell you that.
I have horrible scabages on my arm.. I do not like that.
|Sunday, November 8th, 2009|
Women who wear designer Eskimo boots...
Please stop, it looks stupid with your tight jeans. And do all you ladies now each other? If I notice two group of people who have ugz on they ALWAYS no each other. And what the fuck is up the a stilleto heel on a snowshoe. Your significant other actually let you out of the house without breaking your nose.
The busboy @ Frisch's that had THUGD tattooed on his hand..
I really don't have to go into detail about why the hell this brought a smile to my face. But just wow.. I smile a little just thinking of the fact he truly honestly deserves his role in life.
|Monday, October 19th, 2009|
|The genetic stick
I have a cousin named Jeremiah. To be completely 100% honest about him, he is a train wreck. I can't blame him, he was brought up in horrible circumstances and never really had an outlet, so he drifted towards drugs and metal. I got to see Jeremiah recently, he seemed completely toasted, which is no surprise. I asked him how his children were doing (he had a set of twins last time I saw him). Well he has four kids now. Twin boys, a little girl, and his newest creation, who's name is Jeremiah DIMEBAG Abbott Cobain.. His sons middle name is Dimebag.
While the 14yr old hessian in me appreciates his dedication, the rest of me just bows his head and sighs, knowing in 20 years i'm going to be paying in some way shape or form either welfare or prison, to a person whos middle is Dimebag.
|Tuesday, October 13th, 2009|
|An actual conversation I had, somewhat paraphrased
Me: So you have a gay brother?
Him: Yeah you didn't know that?
Me: No, so was he born gay?
Him: Kinda always new (goes into long diatribe about how said guys mother most likely had an opportunity to squash the gayness, but told him it was alright if he was.)
Me: So does he get offended if you call him a fag?
Him: Fag no, faggot yes?
Me: So what the hell does he have against and O and T (As I say this i'm constantly replaying the Kids in the Hall sketch where Scott Thompson compares the T in faggot to Jesus on the cross, and from now on they should be called "faggos")
Him: Well, I guess its kind of like the difference between -a and -er
and it took me longer than 5 seconds to get that analogy, I am really ashamed in myself.
|Friday, October 2nd, 2009|
Certain things will never make sense.. For example, Marilyn Manson is 40 years old.. That is strangely odd.. Certain things do make sense.. For example, Tupac Shakur is dead.. I mean burning in hell with Ted Kennedy dead.
On a completely unrelated note.. Im going to look at naked girls tommorrow.. that is all
|Tuesday, August 11th, 2009|
|Dear horrible band from Pittsburgh that I saw tonite....
Hi, I hope you're doing well, odds are, we'll never meet again, so heres a few tips:
1) Do not have laminated "all access" passes with your band logo on them. What that tells me is that:
A) You are all poseurs, lets face it you're not famous enough to actually need "all access" passes, i mean seriously are you keeping the groupies away during your tri-state tour.
B)Your parents bought you the equipment your playing. If you knew how much those 5150 cost, you wouldn't have wasted the scrilla for laminated "all access passes".
C)You're spoiled fucking brats and have not worked for anything in your life.
D) You are stupid enough to think those will make you abortion of a band seem more legit, when really it makes you look like a bunch of ego inflated douche-bags. Which you are.
Yeah oddly enough all that from a simple laminated pass.
2) Do not jump on the stage at the same time. It looks faked and rehearsed, most likely because it is faked and rehearsed. I'm assuming it has been rehearsed many times, in your parents basement. Please take this to heart and take the time you would practice jumping to learn how to play your instruments.
3) Despite the claims of your drummer t-shirt, there is no proof that Jason Vorhees was straight edge. Jason killed indiscriminately, not just drug users. Shirts like that make drinkers want vodka, but the bar most likely will be out, so they'll have to settle for Southern Comfort and Coke, which will be 8.00 and piss them off for having to drink just to get through your horrible set.
4) DO NOT and I can not stress this enough, do not invite the audience to do the following: move up, move around, have some fun, mosh, or any combination of said phrases. If your band wasn't horrible, the audience would have be interested in you and actually shown interest and participated. Its not that kids are shy or afraid, it's just well.. You have given them nothing to be excited about and should die on your way home.
However while you did have a stereotypical black drummer, thank you for not being lazy enough to play a toughened up version of some rap song. Because in all honesty, you would have had to do die for such a grievance.
|Sunday, August 2nd, 2009|
Drinking espresso at 8pm was not the brightest idea that has ever gone through my head.
Things are so strange right now. It seems like everyone is falling apart and i'm in the middle of it watching it all crumble.. I don't know if it's effecting me of not. I just pretend that its not happening, and it makes it all better.
In other news I remodeled my bathroom.. It looks awesome. I never thought home improvement would give me that nice warm fuzzy felling but it does.
|Thursday, July 23rd, 2009|
|So I found this AGAIN.. It is still extremely funny
I Totally Outlived Jesus
By Ian "Kersh" Kershaw
Well, as you know by now, today's my birthday. A big happy birthday to me! Oh, yeah! Everyone knows what this day means: Pabst Blue Ribbon pitchers at the Fuzzy Duck Inn. This year, I better see you there, because this isn't going to be just any birthday celebration. This year, my birthday will be a deeply meaningful, almost humbling occasion. See, I'm turning 34. That means I totally outlived Jesus!
You know, 33 was good. I had a pretty decent year, all in all. I started seeing Melissa, I moved into an apartment complex with a pool, and I solidified my position of authority at the car-stereo installation shop. But there was one thing I couldn't say that I'd done, until today: outlive Jesus Christ. Well, check the calendar. See that circle around today's date? See that '34' written there? In your face, Jesus!
Don't get me wrong. I'm not badmouthing Jesus. He's our Savior and the Son of God, and He has all of those churches dedicated to Him and books written about Him. He did a lot of amazing things, like that walking-on-water business. I'm just saying there's at least one area in which the ol' J-Man failed to outpace a certain birthday boy standing before you now.
Jesus and I have a lot in common, but we're different, too. I know how to draw a crowd, but I'd rather tell my great stories from the summer I worked at the water park than talk about Adam and Eve. He liked wine; I like my Pabst Blue Ribbon. What can I say? Kersh is a man of the people. At the end of the day, though, I think my accomplishments, miracles aside, pretty much measure up to Jesus'. Jesus was a carpenter, right? Carpentry is pretty cool, but the installation of mobile audio is cool, too. I know how to put the decks in, like, a hundred different cars. So Jesus and I are pretty even there. And without question, I beat Him, hands down, when it comes to not kicking the bucket before 34! Hey, take that, Jesus, you numbnuts!
Oh! I didn't go too far, did I? I'm just kidding around! No disrespect intended there, young, dead Jesus.
I can kid, can't I? It's my day, after all! On my birthday, I'm like the king for a day, right? The king has come! Tonight, I'm going to score a big table for us at the Duck, and we can all sit on one side, just like they did at the Last Supper. If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for us old fogies, too.
I can put up a little sign over my chair that says "INRI," just like the one Jesus had. No one knows what Jesus' damn sign even meant, but mine will mean "Ian Needs Ribbon Immediately!" Oh, but His sign wasn't over His favorite booth in the back, the one right by the jukebox. Nope, his sign was over His head when He died—younger than Kersh!
Kersh 1, Jesus 0.
Okay, fine. He died for my sins. Well, you can bet I've made some real good ones lately. Because I figured something out a year ago today: You're only as old as Jesus once, and then you're older than Jesus for the rest of your life!
Yeah, I outlived Buddy Holly, James Dean, and now, the big one: Christ Almighty, Himself! That's no small thing. I might not have done as much good in the world, but if I want to, I totally have the time! Shit, I'm probably going to live twice as long as Jesus!
Boo-yah! Burn on you, Jesus!
|Tuesday, July 21st, 2009|
So eight years ago in LJ I actually posted the sentence "at this rate im going to grow red hair and vote republican." I guess i'm halfway there.
People shouldn't have the ability to see themselves from eight years prior. It's a very scary idea. I actually used the terms "tat" and "mosh" and meant both of them in a non-ridiculing way. Apparantly, I also hated my father. But i'm still using livejournal. Eight fucking years. That doesn't seem right in any way whatsoever..
|Monday, July 20th, 2009|
1000 feet is equal to .189 something miles..
According to mapquest belle haven elementary is .2 miles away..
I need to stop reading...
|Thursday, July 16th, 2009|
|Saturday, June 6th, 2009|
offering to take a shower together makes it all better..
|if it works it works..
you know how to get a guy to do stuff????
nag the hell out of him..
surprisingly it works.. betsy said i'm never motivated to do anything, so i cleaned all my trash up, folded laundry, and took out the trash..
so never forget the value of nagging.. even if its not really a motivator, and slowly makes the man fall out of love with you..
|Sunday, May 17th, 2009|
true love is a smack in the face...
and i really want to throw this fucking computer thru a window right now...
|Thursday, May 7th, 2009|
|Random things i've been thinking about
I've had trouble sleeping the past few nights.. Getting up at five in the morning is really starting to drag on me. But it is nice to have nights and weekends off. I've been meaning to take a day off in the middle of the week for I dunno three months, I just haven't gotten around to it.
Phylum reunited and played a show. It was sweet. I had fun. Chris Elliot and myself spent a good portion of the night quoting Katt Williams. I hope to do it again in another 5 years.
I'm really getting sick of everybody blaming everything that goes wrong on the economy. If somebody is going to be a dumbass, there going to be a dumbass.
I need to start a band, something between Soilent Green and down.. Any takers..
|Sunday, April 26th, 2009|
|i love dayton
DAYTON — A 21-year-old man was fatally shot in the stomach on Saturday, April 25, during a gathering for another homicide victim at Euclid and Riverview avenues.
According to Lt. Brian Johns, the shooting happened while a large group of people were at an event honoring Thomas Watson who was killed April 16.
A fight broke out during the gathering in an alley and the unidentified victim was shot.
“Approximately 50 to 100 people were here,” said Johns, “and no one saw anything.”
The victim was taken to a Miami Valley Hospital and pronounced dead around
Police are looking for a male suspect.
Watson’s funeral was Saturday morning. He was fatally shot on a basketball court at College Hill Park near Harvard Boulevard.
“It’s sad, you’re here at a memorial for someone who lost their life tragically and it happens again,” Johns said.
Anyone with information should call 333-COPS.
|Sunday, April 19th, 2009|
we had friends over.. grilled burgers and talked to almost two in the morning...
damn good night indeed..